Busy, busy!!

Its been a while since I have written a post. I've been quite busy with making more pieces of work to add to the collection, which now includes hair grips and soon some earrings. Also my health has been a bit all over the place. I recently stopped taking my Tramadol (not cold turkey) and had a stomach bug, I am wondering if it was due to my body being without the hideous painkillers. I have found I have a bit more energy recently, although crash even quicker, so it has been interesting.

Having said that my pieces of work for Sparkle Forever have taken a different turn and I even now have business cards (exciting for me).


Mini pegs, which I will be using for my wedding, as well as selling others on the website:

Also some hair grips which I have been busy creating:

If you like these items, please say and if you are interested in owning some, get in touch!!

Much Love xx

Sparkle Forever website

Well I have been busy busy with the Sparkle Forever brand. Making an online presence and some business cards to tide me over. Of course none of it would be possible if it weren't for Chris my fiance. I am also looking at creating some hair accessories and earrings also. I do have to keep reminding myself to take it easy as the simplest of tasks tire me out, however I am hoping it will be worth it. I was considering doing the business course that is available in Bristol, however due to the fact I am struggling quite a bit and they require weekly attendance it maybe a struggle, I think I will have to work up to it.

I am so excited to be able to present my new website and hopefully you will love it too....

www.http://sparkleforever.moonfruit.com/

Life ongoing

I am finding writing this blog a challenge in terms of what is going on in life, as well not much is going on other then the fibro taking over my life. However I try not to let it get to me, easier said then done. Currently the heat is making it even more unbearable and as a result, sadly had to cancel any further happiness project courses.

Not one to be let down by this too much, I am trying to crack on with several art projects and ideas, as well as very slowly writing a book (well I have several ideas, so we shall see what comes out in the end). Also with trying to keep costs down a bit for our wedding, I have a few diy ideas up my white lace covered sleeves.

Once I get any further with it all, I shall certainly be updating this blog. Meanwhile, please get in touch if you are liking my products or just have a comment you want to share.

Looking for kindness in everything...

Last week I managed to get to another Happiness Project course, this time it was Nurture and Kindness. Not just to yourself but to your fellow man too. We all sat round and discussed firstly what happiness means to us. Then what Nurture and Kindness means to us by working in groups and writing on a large piece of paper our beliefs. For example things that cropped up were writing poetry or visiting an elderly person. Quite a varied subject really and certainly made you think. We were also given a card on which we were to write 3 things, that we could do in either one day or a period of several days that related to nurture and kindness. Again there was a lot more discussed, including an aspect of psychology.
Afterward the seated part, we were then asked to take some coloured thread and we spent quite sometime filling the room by connecting and intertwining the thread. This was to show that for every action we do, there are always at least 3 people we can affect with that decision etc.

A week later, I am due to go to another session tomorrow. However this week has been very up and down with the fibro, in fact today is a pretty rubbish day with tiredness (I am surprised I am writing this), as well as everything else. So we shall have to see how everything goes. As well as a happiness course, I have found out that there is a meeting for people with Fibromyalgia very near me. So as bad as I may feel now and possibly tomorrow, it would be rude to not go to the fibro meeting, as everyone there is going to be in the same boat, so they won't think I am rude if I am struggling. Which is something I can experience, when I am not with it, or I struggling to speak or function in anyway. I am aware that because I have all my arms and legs and can just about walk, that people don't think there is anything wrong with me. Yet invisible disabilities are very real and very difficult to deal with. 

Anyway away from the difficulties I can face, I always try to stay positive and have a smile on my face. So in the spirit of the start of this particular post, my 3 things I have or intend to do as an act of nurturing and kindness are:

1. Give my orthodontist a box of chocolates for all the work and care they have given me over the last 2 years. 
2. Do something special for my fiance for all the love and kindness he always shows me, so something as simple as make him a meal etc
3. Be kinder to myself and not put myself down so much, in regards of my looks and my disability.

Pain - don't let it get you down!

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain,pain, pain. That is all I feel on a daily basis. It wouldn't be so bad if the super strong painkillers I am given actually worked. Still you have to stay strong and have a smile on your face and not let it all beat you. Easier said then done hey, however it is possible. Sure I have days when I want to scream because the pain is so bad and feel very frustrated with it all. Although I have managed to adopt a more positive lifestyle. With chronic pain you learn to adapt to what life throws at you. I always try and take the good from the bad and remain positive. 

I am always trying to improve myself as a human being and have a need for distractions. Easier said then done at times. So I read a lot, I am currently about to read about mindfulness, which is supposed to help the mind and body. Trying to go to several courses (anything has to be free, due to extreme lack of money), like the happiness course. A business course and in the late autumn I have a self help pain management course (this is supposed to help have a better quality of life). Continuing with my art work and creating some lovely pieces. These are just a few things that I like to do. Although most of the time I do tend to sleep, well over 12 hours a day, most times much more then that, or watching cheesey tv such as, Real Housewives, Millionaire Matchmaker and This Morning as many other programes I can just stare at when my mind and body refuse to work.

I know that this blog probably seems a bit higgeldy piggeldy, however for me it is a much needed outlet for things that are happening in my life. I will always try and remain positive as I have mentioned above, however due to the nature of this condition and it affecting my thinking at times, sometimes I can be quite passionate and irritated (like most people) about things. I won't name names or anything, like I said this is just an outlet.

Having said all that, I want to post another example of the art work that I create from time to time;

Smile!!

Well this week has been a bit of a wash out and that's not just the weather. I was meant to go to a happiness session on Tuesday, yet I felt so rubbish I had to cancel. Ever since then I have been struggling a bit. My body just doesn't want to respond properly, although that is fibromyalgia for you. On Monday my Dad got rushed to hospital (again) and I think the stress of that probably got to me. So this week I have been mostly watching rubbish day time tv, reading (I am a total book worm) as well as sleeping and do what I can around the flat. What a life hey! 

Daydreaming is always part of my daily life, as to what I could do with it. I certainly don't want this blog to be all doom and gloom, however there are some days when you just want to share how rubbish you are feeling.

Time to paste a smile on my face as I am going to be helping a friend at a wedding fair on Sunday. I really enjoy doing this, every now and again, as I feel like I am useful and have a purpose for a change. Plus I get to see some amazing flowers, cakes, dresses etc. What girl wouldn't love that. 
When it comes to the smile though, I am currently going through a phase of wearing braces, or Invisalign. This is potentially my last week and then I can take these lumps of plastic off and have a lovely straight smile. After almost 18months of having to wear them about 22 hours a day, it is going to be weird yet wonderful to not have to wear them. My experience of having them in has been quite a smooth sailing experience. Yeah there has been a bit of pain, but you have to expect it and weirdly you get used to it. Going from seriously crooked bottom teeth to straight, I cannot wait to get them off and know that I don't have to be embarrassed and can smile all I want. I now know that when I smile on my wedding day that I won't be dreading seeing the pictures after (vain I know, but hey I'm female ;-p )!!

Happiness

It's been a little while since I last blogged. The time has flown by and usually I would be spending my time at home, safe in my little cocoon, however apart from dealing with a few rough fibro days I have been fairly busy (for me anyway).

I decided to take the bull by the horns and look into a free business course in Bristol. I went on an hour long introduction to enterprise. I wanted to do this because not being able to work full/part time is a struggle, so having some sort income as well as a distraction is needed. Also something that I can do in my own time, to do when I am feeling ok and leave when I am not, is one of the only solutions I can think of. So the idea of setting up my own business is something I am going to consider. The course will run for 8 weeks and cover a range of subjects within the business world. Plus the main point it is free! What is not to love. I just need to hope my brain and body are up for working properly on those days. I am hopefully going to do the course in the summer and if I feel it is not for me, then at least I will have gained some useful knowledge along the way.

The other thing I have done recently is take part in a scheme called The Happiness Project. It is in Bristol and again free (although a small voluntary donation is asked for). I had never heard of this until I saw a flyer in my local GP. The fact that it said it was a happiness project intrigued me, plus I am all for self development. There are 10 courses of various subjects that can make us happy. The first one I went on was Gratitude. It was really interesting and helps to reinforce many thoughts and feelings around the particular course subject. We spent the first hour working through what happiness, and then gratitude, could/can mean to us. We also discussed in pairs what we recently have been grateful for. After that we were taught how to create a note book by Japanese book binding and then to decorate it. The objective of this notebook is to take it away with you and write down 3 things every day that we are grateful for.
Admittedly on the day I was having a fairly rubbish fibro day, however I was still able to most of what was required of me and feel not only happier in myself that I had managed to get there and do the course, however also to learn more about gratitude and be able to apply it more to my life.

The whole project both works on psychology and art, which is a great combination and can often go hand in hand with many things in life.
I think this a wonderful scheme and even though I have only attended one so far (I have signed up to the other 9), I would highly recommend it to anyone. After all if one of the main objectives is to get Bristol being a happier place, I am all for it!!

On a last note, my 3 things I am grateful for today:

• Being surrounded by my little cocoon (my flat) in life and feel safe and loved
• Having the energy and internet/electrical means to write this 
• Hearing the bird song outside, this always puts me in a good mood!

Getting creative

What a lovely and odd Easter weekend. I wanted to make the most of the 'lovely' weather. So we decided to go to Cheddar Gorge, yet it was chockablock. I wanted an easy day (fibro never gives up getting at me), so it was a case of hike for about 4 miles just to see the place or go elsewhere. We ended up at Street - Clarks Village. I love the discount shopping centres, although they can be dangerous. This time it was more frustrating, never fun going shopping with no money. So we just ended walking around it and browsing. However I couldn't resist a cute tshirts and knickers from Joules! I was so close to leaving without anything, however I can't seem to resit anything lacey and floraly ;-)

Recently I met up with my friend to discuss, among other things creating a piece of art for her to give as a gift. I need to design something for an unborn baby, which as of yet we don't know the sex. So I need to put my thinking cap on. The art has taken a bit of a back seat recently, yet I relish these opportunities. I wanted to make a 20" x 20" heart for our wedding, yet I have gone against this now as I would no idea where to put it. To put it into perspective the piece would have probably taken me a couple of months to finish as there would have been thousands of little butterflies to create and glue etc.

Some of my pieces of work that I was trying to think outside the box with are pictured below.

I am always looking for other challenges and ideas, so if you have any please get in touch :-)

This frog 'Space Invaders' was created by Chris

Invitations

What beautiful weather we have been having and as per normal I am stuck indoors. I don't tend to leave my little cocoon unless I have to, today's reason - a dentist appointment!

I have gotten used to staying indoors because of the fibro, it is a way of my life. Don't get me wrong, I love getting out there and being at one with nature etc. I just struggle at times to get the motivation and also to be in the knowledge that it potentially aggravates my condition. I would be lying if I said it doesn't affect me, the doctor has prescribed vitamin D tablets, there is the guilt of not enjoying such a beautiful day, the boredom and frustration. However it has all encouraged me to be grateful for everything I have and can do in life. It makes me appreciate the outdoors more, when I do eventually get out there. I have the time to focus on art and things such as this blog.

Which leads me to another area of art, making our own wedding invitations!! When Chris and I decided this was the best (and cheapest) option for us, I thought great, this will be easy. How wrong I was. We both have differing opinions with a lot of things and when it comes to creating art we clash. We both like a similar style, shabby chic type look, yet the end result is always totally different. He is very picky and has to have things just so, I am more laid back and do tend to try and take the easy option. Having said that, it isn't a bad thing as together it could create something amazing, could being the word. We have over a year until we have to post the invitations, so there is plenty of time and so far we have mocked up about 10 different designs. I have no idea how we are going to choose what design to go for and have even suggested that the strongest design is the wedding invitation and then the other persons favourite design for the evening invitation. I see it as a lovely bonding experience between us both, and ok we may not agree on everything, the ultimate goal is an amazing one!!

Watch this space...

Wedding Belles

One thing that is significant in my life right now, is the fact that I am engaged, something I never thought would happen to me. 

So my hubby to be and I are currently busy planning and wondering what on earth we would like to have. At least one thing we have managed to decide on is the date and place (I shan't mention this as we aren't keen on wedding crashers ;-p ). 

However one thing that gets to me a lot is the fact we only have one income (his) and I am struggling to contribute. I am not a bridezilla and won't be wanting anything too extravagant or beyond our means. It would just be lovely for me to be able to give something to the day, other then just turning up! I have sold a load of my clothes on ebay, however the money seems to disappearing on things for in the here and now, like food shopping. Recently the "wonderful" Atos, stopped my financial support and I am relying on Chris, far more then I really want to. Like I mentioned in a previous post I would love a job and just getting a job seems so simple to many people, yet for example when you are fine one day and then sleep for over 15 hours a day and can hardly function for many days after, then who really wants to employ someone like that?! Anyway, I plan to do all I can to help in anyway possible and just need to remember how lucky I am to have such a wonderful, supportive, caring man in my life. As long as we are husband and wife at the end of the day, then that is all that matters.

Also whilst looking into my own, my best friend is getting married a year earlier. I am her maid of honour, so I need to help plan a wild hen party for her. I don't think strippers are her thing (nor mine), so something to help her relax and enjoy is what is required. It is great fun having a friend to share this with.

All of this and more, just goes to show that I may not have great health, but I do have a great support network around me.

3D art work examples

Day 2 of this blog and again am wondering what to write. Not a great day with the fibro (but what day is), just got to focus on those positives. So for me, it is my art work. I wanted to share some pieces I have created.

This is my current favourite, I was making various Christmas presents for my friends, however ended up keeping this one.

Double heart piece, originally was going to be a single heart, however needed an extra one to make it stand out better.

It's not just about love though, I love the colours of this piece.

These are only 3 examples of the art I have done, I love seeing the finished result and itch to start the next piece.

This is who I am...

So this is my first ever blogging post and I am not sure what to do or what to say, however here goes...

My name is Hannah, I am 29 and have fibromyalgia. Although I don't want to go on about my disability, it is part of my life and will inevitably get in the way of what I do in life. I struggle with it, but what person wouldn't. I am constantly in so much pain and always exhausted, so sleep a lot and am unable to do very little. 
I could go on and on about how bad it is, however I am also grateful for it in some ways. It has made me who I am today and I love to laugh and have a smile on my face. I would probably never have had the experiences I have had, if I never had it. My modelling and acting is a case in point. Although it has hindered me in many ways, I have been able to be the lead role in a feature film and many short films, as well as take on some great modelling experiences (I will share some of these at some point). 

Currently I do not have a job, I am not a scrounger or someone taking the mickey with the welfare state. I simply am unable to work, due to the pain, exhaustion and many of the other hideous symptoms that this condition throws at me. A lot of the time, I cannot walk, communicate properly and even using my hands/wrists can get so painful I cannot use them. So how come I am writing this, well I needed something to distract me, an outlet and something positive to focus on, I will deal with the pain afterwards. Don't get me wrong, I would LOVE a job, and I really truly miss working, I just am unable to keep a job due to the uncertainty of this condition.

I love creating art and this blog was initially set up to try and help me promote my work, however who knows where this blog will take me. I have had help from my wonderful fiance Chris (my rock), he is very creative too.  Together we create 3D pieces of work using butterflies, or other shapes too. Ok maybe I am biased, but I think they are beautiful and again they are something positive for me to focus on. I love creating art/crafts and like taking on new projects, ok they take time to produce due to the pain, but it is worth it!