Living with Chronic Pain

I have chronic pain! A simple statement, something that is very easy to say, yet it is incredibly difficult to live with.

Chronic pain comes in many guises, mine is mainly fibromyalgia. I am constantly in pain, 24/7.

Like many people with chronic pain I have tried many different solutions. From over the counter painkillers, to really strong opioids (prescription) as well as some other seriously nasty prescription drugs. I have tried holistic approaches and acupuncture as well as massage. I have also drank far more than my far share to forget the pain and other things too.
At one point I was taking over 30 tablets a day, I was a walking pharmacist!

Diagnosed in 2008, it has been a long journey to where I am today and I know it is one I will be on for life.

Some people see pain as weakness in the body, some people are lucky enough to not have to worry about pain. Whilst others are crippled by it on a daily basis.
I have seen many of my family and friends struggle and go on the pain relief journey, it is incredibly hard to witness, seeing a once bright and happy person be dragged down into the depths of despair. That may sound very dramatic, but depression is a very well known buddy to pain.

My daily life is difficult, I also am aware it can be so much worse. These last few weeks I have experienced some of the worst pain for a while. I just wanted to scream and cry and lord knows what else.
What did I do instead, plastered a sort of smile on my face, popped a couple of paracetamol and used a freeze gel. A far cry from the trippy days of tramadol or being so spaced out I couldn't even tell you my name.
I feel sorry for Mr.Wright, the main person who sees me go through all of this. He is a strong and wonderful man. As not only does he see me in so much pain, although I try not to show it, I am a stubborn mare. He also has to put up with my excessive mood swings and moaning about allsorts, his poor ears. One minute I am laughing, to the next minute I am so frustrated at not knowing what loaf of bread to buy in Asda, so much so that I throw a hissy fit. It's not intentional in the slightest.

Pain makes you do and feel weird things. So many times I have felt despondent, fed up, depressed (badly), guilty, angry, frustrated, high (thanks to the likes of tramadol), sick, feeling like life is slipping me by and so much more.

Whilst I know this post seems negative it isn't, because despite all of the crappy stuff life has thrown my way, it has made me me! I am a strong lady. Yes I have a lot of down moments, who doesn't especially with constant pain, but I am here, I have a wonderful husband and have found a crafting passion I never know in life. I have had experiences that I would never had without this hideous condition in my life. I have learnt to find the positives in the negatives, which is not always easy.

So when things get tough, just know you are not alone. Talk to someone you trust and know that you are an incredibly strong person no matter what!!